It's that time of year again! halloween is near!
by Jacob is so mine
Summary: Ever wonder how our favorite vampires and wolfs celebrate halloween? Why not find out what really happens when Emmett yells, "it's that time of year again!"
1. pumpkin mall

**Oh god, Halloween is near…what will the Cullen's do? **

Everyone was sitting around the television watching horror movies just for kicks when Emmett came running down stairs. "Guys, guys, it's that time of year again!!!" he yelled.

"It's that time of year again for what?" Bella asked looking up at Edward, who was clearly reading Emmett's mind.

"Oh God Emmett no, not again!!!" Edward yelled spastically. Everyone had now seemed to get the idea…well except for Bella…she still had no idea what was going on.

"Yeah, I'll get the decorations!!!!" Alice yelled.

"Wait, decorations for what? What's going on?" Bella asked as everyone started to get off the couch.

"Halloween of course silly." Alice said helping Bella up.

"Oh…I thought it was something bad…if that's all that's going on then why is Edward so afraid?" Bella asked looking back at Edward, who was huddled in the corner mumbling something that sounded like, 'not again.'

"Oh…don't worry about him Bella, he's just a spoil sport…now come on, let's go to the mall, we need costumes, decorations, pumpkins, oh and you can't forget about the candy." Alice yelled, giddily jumping up and down as she pulled Bella into the Porsche.

"Alice I don't think the mall sells costumes, or pumpkins." Bella reasoned trying her best to get out of this shopping trip.

"That's why were not going to the regular mall silly, were going to the Halloween mall." Alice smirked as she drove. She was so happy she turned the radio on high and started singing. Too bad for poor Bella who hated music, and shopping….well maybe she'd change her mood once they got to this so called 'Halloween mall'. Or not…yeah probably not…this was Bella we were talking about you know.

***********************

**(Bella's POV) **

Oh god, now I see why Edward was so upset….He didn't want to have a crazy Halloween party and neither did I. I hated parties, celebrations, get together's, anything with tons of people where I'd end up making a fool of myself. And I most definitely didn't enjoy shopping!!!

Alice was driving her overly vibrant, yellow Porsche to a so called 'Halloween mall' I didn't even like regular malls and now I'd be stuck at one of these crazy things, this was insane!!!!

When we got there I knew for sure it wasn't going to be good….after all the mall was a giant jack-o-lantern for havens sake!!!

Alice had pulled me out of the car, and we started to walk in, or well…Alice walked…I was dragged against my will…I knew I should have just spent today with Jacob, at least he doesn't get into all this excitement over things like this. He actually listens to me, if I say I don't want a party he won't give me a party. But no, with Alice we have a freaking party almost every other week, and she takes so many pictures because to her apparently, 'every day of my life is special from beginning to end'.

When I say beginning I mean beginning, last week she took a picture of me while I was still sleeping….I knew I should never hang around her while Edward wasn't around but this was getting off topic. The real problem hear wasn't pictures or parties, it was the fact that I was being dragged into a huge jack-o-lantern shaped mall!!!

**(Alice's POV) **

Oh, this was going to be so much fun. I knew right now Bella didn't want to do this but once we started shopping I'm sure her mood would change….Well if it didn't change I'd change it for her...I didn't want to be mean, and I knew she hated celebrations but oh, you only get to live once, why not live right and celebrate as many things as possible? After all this is our first Halloween together….it should go off with a bang….just like fourth of July. Ok well….maybe forth of July was a little too much of a bang but hey…it's not my fault Bella's hair caught on fire….after all, all I did was hand her a sparkler. How was I suppose to know she would try to spin in a circle, trip, and get it stuck in her hair…well all I can say is thank god she fell into that pool, but enough about that!!! It was time to start our shopping adventure!!!!!!!

The first store I dragged Bella into was the costume shop. Last year I was Tinkerbelle, Rosalie was a bunny and Esme was a nurse because of the whole Carlisle being a doctor thing. This year I wanted to try something completely different….Ok maybe not so different….but maybe a little darker, like a grave yard pixy or something. I wondered what Bella was going to be….

"Bella what do you want to dress up as?" I asked, truly curious.

"Alice, you must be kidding, I haven't dressed up for Halloween since I was nine, next you'll want to go trick or treating." Bella whined.

"Oh please Bella, not even Emmett is as childish as to do something as down right stupid as that." I giggled nervously, hiding the fact that her statement was right on point.

"Alice, you're seriously trying to tell me you've never seen Emmett go trick or treating?" Bella laughed….not buying into my fib.

"Ok….he may have possibly gone last year….and I may have possibly gone along with him." I muttered hoping desperately that she didn't hear me, though she was smirking, so she must have.

"Nice." She laughed.

"I was just in it for the candy." I informed her.

"Oh yeah…like that's believable." Bella laughed again.

"It is." I mumbled, getting annoyed.

"Alice, you're a vampire, you can't even eat candy." Well…she got me there…time for an abrupt subject change.

"Yeah, whatever Bella…come on let's look for costumes!!!" I yelled pulling her over to one of the overly decorated costume racks.

**(Mean while at home) **

Emmett had dragged Edward down into the basement which before today Edward didn't even know existed to look for the Halloween decorations because he was too afraid to go down there himself.

"Emmett….since when do we even have a basement?" Edward asked looking around.

"Only since forever Edward, now come on. Where do you think we put last year's decorations? We only have a month until Halloween, which only gives us 42 days to decorate!!!" Emmett yelled.

"Um Emmett….months only have thirty one days….not forty two." Edward mumbled, truly ashamed of his brother's mental disposition.

"Oh God, then we need to hurry it up even more!!!" Emmett said running into the dark mist that was the other side of the basement.

"Wait for me!!!" Edward yelled running after him. The truth was Edward was just as afraid of this basement as Emmett was…maybe even more afraid then Emmett was…..

"Oh crap, this is just a bunch of Hanukkah stuff!!!" Emmett yelled.

"What the hell Emmett?!?!? Were not even Jewish, why do we have Hanukkah decorations?" Edward asked.

"Well gosh Edward, I brought them last year because I didn't want to be racist!!" Emmett answered.

"Emmett, Judaism is a type of religion , not a race!!!" Edward yelled.

"Yah, yah, whatever Edward….that's what all racist people say, now come on I think the Halloween decorations are in the attic." Emmett said going back up the stairs.

"I am not racist, and attic? What Attic? We don't have any attic!!!" Edward yelled going up after him.

"Yah, yah, just like we don't have a basement. We've been living here for years, you'd think you'd know if there was an attic or not, God and I'm the stupid one?!?!" Emmett laughed. "I guess you spend too much time cooped up in your room, just like a rooster, except when the roosters spending too much time in the coop at least he's getting some."

"Emmett…that analogue made absolutely no sense." Edward argued.

"Yah….maybe it made on sense….or maybe your just not smart enough to understand because I'm at a whole other level of intelligence, that you have yet to reach."

"Yeah…that's it." Edward laughed, sarcastically.

"Yes, yes it is, I'm so glad you're finally seeing where I'm coming from." Emmett said, happily.

"I was being sarcastic you pop tart!!" Edward yelled.

"What the hell kind of insult is pop tart?" Emmett laughed.

**(In the kitchen) **

"Esme, but I don't want to bake cookies, I have hospital work to do." Carlisle whined…Esme had been insistent that they were to bake four dozen pumpkin shaped cookies to hand out to the neighborhood children who came trick or treating this year…It wasn't a bad idea actually…Unless you counted for the fact that one, they had no experience in baking anything what's so ever……in fact the only thing they've ever cooked in general was a salad…and that really didn't require much effort. And of course there was the obvious fact of, two, they lived in the woods practically in the middle of no where…they had no neighbors what's so ever, let alone children. The idea was truly mental to waste your time, money, and effort, and bake cookies when the only one they knew who could even eat them was Bella…and even then she wouldn't eat four let alone four dozen.

"Esme we don't even know how to bake, and we have absolutely no neighbors, this would truly be a waste of money, time, and effort!!!" Carlisle said trying to get out of this…..he hated his wife's idea but he loved her so much he'd go along with her every whim…that's why he took the cooking class with her, and the dress making class, and even yoga……thinking back on that made him feel kind of gay…..he was in desperate need to do something to take his man hood back!!!!

**Authors note: Well this was the first chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it, if you didn't then well….no one's forcing you to read anymore but if you did like it then there's more to come soon. You guys could tell me what you want to see and as I say in all my stories your more then welcome to follow me on twitter for story updates and other random stuff I'm lboocherry and the links on my profile, if you have a twitter please join me, I'd love to hear from all of you and I really feel that you can't exactly, truly, expose how you feel about the story just in a review, and besides the fact if I become famous one day and write my own book you can say, "hey, I know that girl, I've talked to her before" now wouldn't that be cool? Anyways though to all you newbie's out there who haven't read any of my previous stories if your in need of a good laugh you'd really enjoy my truth or dare story, after all it was nominated for an award of best comedy anyway though….enough about me please just leave a review, tell me what you think, criticism is always welcome though I love praise a whole lot more (= **


	2. You put our halloween decorations where?

**Authors note: Thanks for all the nice reviews guys, you made me so happy I hurried up and typed this ASAP….so I hope you all enjoy (= **

**(In the attic) **

"Oh come on Edward, it's just a flight of stairs, there's nothing to be afraid of." Emmett yelled a little too loudly, poking his head out from the door which lead up to the attic.

"Ok, first of all Emmett, were only standing eight feet apart, there's no need to yell." Edward said whipping Emmett's spit off the side of his face.

"Oh…..sorry." Emmett mumbled, sheepishly noticing Edward's statement was true.

"And second of all, it's not the height I'm worried about your weight is what's really going to make it fall." Edward muttered looking up at Emmett, and making sure to back a safe distance away just incase he did come tumbling down.

"Did you just call me fat?!?!?!?" Emmett asked, truly astonished.

**(Back at the pumpkin mall in Alice's POV) **

"Bella please come out of the dressing room." I begged. I had given Bella 3 costumes to try on almost ten minutes ago and she still wasn't out.

"I can't come out." Bella whined. God was she annoying. "I look stupid."

"No you don't Bella, I'm sure you look beautiful." I said trying to encourage her…it wasn't working…well at a time like this there's noting else you can do but prey the door open.

"Alice, what the hell!! I could have been changing!!!" Bella yelled hitting me with a hanger….yeah like that hurt….I didn't care anyway, I was frozen in shock…Bella really did look so, so beautiful….well not beautiful per say but totally sexy.

"I don't look good Alice, I look ridiculous!!" Bella pouted. God she was so annoying…I had to think of a way for her to believe me

"I know, we'll send Jake a picture and see what he thinks." I said taking out her phone.

"No Alice, I look ridiculous and besides he'll say I look good in anything…same with Edward." Bella commented…I didn't feel like listening to her so I just sent the picture and decided to wait.

**(Edward's POV)**

We had been looking for these Halloween decorations in the attic for almost an hour when Emmett turned completely around, knocking me almost back down the stairs and said, "You know what I think I left them in the pantry."

What the hell? Did he just say the Halloween decorations were in the pantry? Why would anyone in their right mind put Halloween decorations in the pantry?

"Emmett did you just say pantry?" I asked, thinking maybe I'd heard wrong.

"Yah, you know pantry, that place where Esme puts all the food." Emmett answered as he started to walk into the kitchen.

"I know what a pantry is." I answered.

"Then why'd you ask?" Emmett asked.

"I didn't ask what a pantry was. I asked why the hell you were keeping Halloween decorations in there!!!" I yelled, desperately hoping he'd get what I was trying to say.

"Well….we don't have food so why not?" Emmett answered as he got the box labeled 'H.O.L.E.A.W.H.E.N' out of the pantry…I signed deeply when I read it.

"Huh…Emmett."

"What?" He asked, completely clueless of his spelling mistake.

"You spell Halloween, H.A.L.L.O.W.E.E.N. Not H.O.L.E.A.W.H.E.N!!!" I corrected.

"Sure you do, just like you spell mints M.I.N.T.S."

"Emmett, that is how you spell mints", I sighed.

"No silly Edward, you spell mints M.I.T.Z." Emmett said as he went up to the refrigerator.

"Now what are you doing?" I asked.

"What does it look like, I'm getting the rest of the decorations." Emmett said.

"In the refrigerator?"

"Freezer actually."

"Yes because that makes so much sense……."

**Authors note: Ok, kind of short but if I make it too long there'll only be like 6 chapters I'm at least trying to get to ten, stick around though if you want to see trick or treating, egging stupid people's houses, mischief night, the rest of costume shopping and oh yah we still have to bake those cookies and I'm sure your all dying to know what Jake's text said. **


	3. It all started with a text

**Authors note: Since you guys are liking this I figured might as well get more up ASAP. (= love you all please, please keep reviewing and I'll keep writing. **

**(How are Jake and the wolfs celebrating their Halloween?) **

**(Jake's POV)**

The guys and I were sitting around Emily's kitchen while she was making pumpkin pie when I got a text.

"Who's that from?" Quil asked, looking over at my phone.

"Uh, Bella I think." I said looking down at the screen.

"Well what'd she say?" He asked peering over my shoulder, trying to see …god was he nosy.

"Um…you don't need to know." I answered covering the phone with my hand.

"Oh, I see….." he said backing away. I was about to read it when he came out of nowhere and snacked the phone from my hands.

"Jerk." I muttered trying to get my phone back. I stepped on his foot so he would release, but he wasn't paying any attention…it was like he was frozen…just standing there with his mouth handing open.

"Quil, what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked preying the phone out of his hands.

"Is he having a heart attack?" Embre asked.

"I…don't know." I answered looking at the image on my phone- OH MY GOD!!!!! ********** - sorry reality lapse for a second there…..

**(Yeah…I love cliffies….they drive people crazy LOL** **=) **

**(Cooking with Carlisle) **

I was looking for anyway possible to escape from my wife when the boys came in. "Oh Edward what are you boys up to?" I asked… 'please pretend you need me for something, your mother's driving me off the edge'. I though in my head, desperately hoping Edward would hear me.

"Um actually we were just about to put up all these decorations." Edward said gesturing towards the boxes he had in his hands.

"Holeawhen?" I read, looking at the box's label questioningly.

Edward took one look at me, one look at the box, sighed and whispered, "Emmett" then proceeded off into the living room.

"Those are a lot of boxes, I'm sure you guys could use some help putting all that stuff up." I said as I slowly backed out of the kitchen, carefully watching my wife's eye.

Just as I was about to be out she grabbed me by the shirt collar, "Not so fast, you have baking to do mister." She said tossing me an apron.

"Do I really have to wear pink?" I asked.

"It take's a real man to wear pink."

"No it doesn't…that's just what all the losers say to make themselves feel better." I mumbled putting on my pink, duck print apron…this was one of the stupidest things ever. I really needed to regain my man hood.

**(Putting up decorations half in Edward's POV and half in Emmett's. Edward first) **

"Emmett what the hell are you doing to my piano?" I asked as I came into the living room…he was covering my poor baby in ketchup.

"Isn't it obvious Edward? I'm making it look like someone killed it, hello fake blood." Emmett gestured to the ketchup bottle, squirting me with it.

"You can't kill inanimate objects Emmett, and besides the fact, you got your retched ketchup- I started to say……he stopped me.

"Um-hum I got what on you?" He asked being as annoying as ever.

"You got your fake blood all over my favorite shirt!!!" I yelled looking down at my poor shirt….this was the one Bella had given me.

"Oh yeah, yeah whatever…it's fake blood Edward, that means it'll come off hence the word fake." Emmett answered.

"Just because it's fake doesn't mean it doesn't stain." I argued.

"Oh whatever Edward, I don't see why your making such a big fuss, that's one of the ugliest shirts I've ever seen, the fake blood totally improved it." Emmett smirked, giving my shirt a once over.

"It's not my fault Bella is shopping impaired, it's the thought that counts." I muttered going upstairs to change.

"Whatever, you can go change…that doesn't mean I won't get you dirty again." Emmett chuckled….you know, he was probably right….

**(Emmett's POV) **

When Edward came back downstairs I decided it was time to teach him the basics of decoration.

"Ok Edward, now go sit down over there." I said pointing to the living room couch.

"Why?" He asked, in deep confusion and worry.

"So I can teach you the basics of decoration, now get over there." I pushed him.

"Oh god…." He moaned.

"Gasp!!! Edward, you just broke a commandment!!!! Bad boy, no saying God's name in vain!!!" I yelled at him, taking off my shoe and smacking him upside the head with it.

"Was that really necessary?" He asked, rubbing his face.

"Yes…now come on…let's back to what I was saying." I said taking out two tissues and handing him one, along with a rubber band and a set goggle-eyes.

"What the hell is all this crap for?" He asked.

"I'm going to teach you how to make a ghost." I answered.

"Emmett…" He sighed.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Did you get this off a children's show?" he asked, sighing again.

"……Maybe…."

**(Emily's house Emily's POV) **

It was that time of year again and I was so excited, this was the first Halloween Sam and I would be spending with all the guys and I wanted it to be perfect…That's why I was bossing everyone around.

"Jake stop staring at your phone and get your ass in the car, you and Embre are going to buy pumpkins!!" I yelled…wow that was assertive…not usual for me…I'm usually nicer but hey if you were in a house full of wolfs you'd be paranoid too.

"Quil hears some money, your taking Claire costumed shopping. Sam come hear, your helping me bake the pumpkin, butter nut cookies. Jared and Paul you guys can go buy candy, Seth and Collin I'm putting you guys on decoration duty…nothing to scary. "

**(Costume shopping with Claire and Quil) **

I was given the duty to take Claire bear out shopping for her Halloween costume. Normally I loved spending time with her…but when it came to shopping for anything she was horrible. I mean seriously a five year old can never make up her mind…..

"So Claire bear what do you think you want to be this year?" I asked her…maybe I was wrong and she had something already in mind.

"Um….a kitty…no a pony….no Hannah Montana….no a tiger….or a froggie or maybe a princess, fairy, dog!!!" She yelled…looked like this was going to be even harder then I thought…………

**Authors note: It was totally fun bringing the wolfs in this…now much more drama…oh gosh…will Quil ever get out of the costume store? Will Edward learn how to make a ghost out of a tissue? Will Jake ever get out of his state of Bella shock and text back? What about Carlisle? Will he make those cookies? **


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